I Watched the TV Glow

2024 Directed by Jane Schoenbrun

Horror Marathon 2024 Day 5 Film 11

Nostalgia is a drug both of comfort and malaise- of a sense of place and time that we'll never have back. As we look at our current selves have we made decisions that correspond with where our dreams and desires pulled us in our youth? As time slips and passes..skipping beats and cherished moments that seem to not match our version of reality when we revisit them. These flash lightbulb memories that are us- all of our sense of self bubbling up and create our identity. Have we been true to ourselves?

This theme permeates the film as an engrossing world that doesn't quite seem to fit. The main character is an outsider- the sense of loss from a mother to cancer and a father that will never connect. They only find solace in a TV show that they share with another; a 90s teen fantasy drama that encapsulates the struggle of the teenage dream for power over themselves in a world that never allows them to be fully adult. Though the horror of this world could be a setup for an old Are You Afraid of The Dark? or Power Rangers level of scary it seeped into a core memory of mine watching these heroic characters fighting for clear stakes.

For those that have never had to ponder their world- to wonder if society has restrained their true natures- this film may not seem like a horrific fable. To me it pulls on different timeline versions of myself that didn't have the courage to live life with self actualization. That the fear of being "other" could take over one's life, conforming to the expectations of family, career, and legacy. Although these themes especially are characterized by gender and sexuality, I also see this as a film about the spirit of thyself. Loss can be never finding our inner power, and accepting the world as someone else has defined it.

The set pieces and flared lightning speak to an otherworld that exists through VHS nostalgia and pop dreams. It is David Lynch seeping in with VHS Lost Highway remix and Mulholland Drive echoes of identity and grief. The music video aesthetic for "Tonight, Tonight" of the Smashing Pumpkins with its pop-up book flair inspires a new cover altogether nostalgic and subdued..

"This is the urgency of now...."